we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
