I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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