he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
