Four minutes until I can fart!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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