I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Buhtt sex?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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