dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
