He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
