i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
