All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I understand Curling. That high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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