I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize