There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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