I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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