So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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