were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize