So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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