did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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