trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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