Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My life is pants optional.
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