I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
