I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
