i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
