What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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