he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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