haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
