If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
