No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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