My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
