Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
