i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
