It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
