she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
