For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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