i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
