and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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