Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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