How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
