Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
