What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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