I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
