I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
