I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
