Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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