Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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