i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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