mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
