dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
