If i come over, it means nothing
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Panties = found
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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