i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As shirtless as possible
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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