It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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