ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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