you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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