I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
