Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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