You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
