i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize