I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
