Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
