I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
