I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
