im six kinds of drunk right now
In America we eat man semen.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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