we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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