so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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