this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he was CRYING into my vagina
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
